Woman Questions If Relying on Her Boyfriend for Dog Care Strains Their Relationship

Facing health challenges, a woman wonders if she’s over-relying on her boyfriend to help manage her massive dog, seeking clarity from Reddit advisors.

Balancing Health and Responsibility

A woman, struggling with chronic health issues, turned to Reddit for advice. Her dilemma centers around caring for a large, reactive dog while managing her own health and relationship dynamics.

She began her post sharing a setback in her health: “I have health problems that are normally controlled but I managed to flare three different issues and needed more help.” Despite her usual ability to care for her dog, her boyfriend often worries about her safety during walks.

The Unexpected Giant

In adopting her dog, she anticipated a small breed puppy, not realizing it was a mix of Rottweiler, St. Bernard, and Pyrenees — breeds known for their imposing size and strength. This unexpected growth only compounded her challenges.

Though she typically manages her dog’s needs, her fluctuating physical and mental health complicates daily routines. Her two-year relationship with her boyfriend includes his stepping up to handle the dog, about which she says, “I think I’ve been over-relying and/or, as he may see it, expecting my boyfriend to help me handle my 45-minute dog walks and 5 min potty breaks.”

Health Challenges Intensify

Her health issues add another layer. “I have knee problems that have gotten worse and suffer dizzy/fainting spells,” she said. Initially trying to prepare for a large dog, her efforts were thwarted as her knee injuries worsened. “If I don’t let my ligaments return correctly then it’s more likely to happen again sooner,” she stated.

Once, the dog’s encounter with another dog turned aggressive, heightening her fears of solo walks. Past traumas add to her unease about handling his reactivity by herself.

“I have all the supplies to train him and do so every day,” she affirmed, not seeking further training advice but acknowledging her limitations. “My best currently is not up to par so I am learning new ways to handle him.”

Strains of Responsibility

Recently, her boyfriend’s willingness to help has waned. “My boyfriend used to help in the colder months but lately he has been making comments like he doesn’t enjoy taking my dog out,” she explained.

Reflecting on her boyfriend’s changing attitude, she asked, “I’m starting to wonder if though I am asking him and giving him the choice to decline if he maybe feels obligated to as my boyfriend?” Attempts to discuss the situation with him leave her with either neutral responses or the sense he can’t “safely say no.”

Fears and Advice

She fears her boyfriend’s growing frustration could damage their relationship or his affection for the dog, prompting her to ask, “I’m probably going to talk to my boyfriend anyway but AITAH for over-relying on him?”

One commenter offered practical advice: “Find a time, and sit down with your boyfriend, and talk to him about it,” suggesting a sincere dialogue about feelings and options.

Another commenter, gently but firmly, noted, “Gently, YTA,” urging her to reassess if her own care is not feasible. “It sounds as if your health is currently poor and will take at least a few months to stabilize.”

Reporting based on the original article; quotes reproduced verbatim.